My Second Kidney and Second Chance

This was the big one. The turnaround in my life and what I feel was a new start, a reset if you will. The spoiler to this story in my life is in the title as you know I did end up receiving a second kidney. But the story to how I got to there wasn’t easy.

In the last chapter I talked about how I had given up hope. I was at a huge low point in my life with depression and suffering through the side effects of a failing organ. I just felt like giving up. I almost felt like why keep trying to fight my kidney disease if it was going to just keep me down. I was in my mid 20’s, no job, no relationship, little friends. Like many do over whatever personal hell they have to fight I was just tired and ready to give up. Then I had a friend, Erica call me up out of the blue one day and told me, “I’m gonna help get you through this” and set up a Facebook group for me to tell my story and to try to find a donor. I’ve always been religious but never considered myself a huge religious person. I still truly believe in every sense that what happened that day was a sign from God to not give up, and to let my friends and family carry me through this. I do feel like things happen for a reason and the timing of all that was just incredible. I was at my lowest point and out of nowhere I get a sign to not surrender.

I talked to Erica and we got the page set up. Cody’s Warriors is the name and it’s still to this day a resource I use to communicate what’s happening to me medically to my friends and family that have followed my story. I got all my information in there set to spread to word to help me find a living donor. The reason for someone to find a living donor over getting a cadaver kidney is that the kidney will typically function better and have an overall better quality of life when it’s from a living donor. Mainly because it doesn’t go as long without blood and care as one from a living donor would be. But we got the page set up and the biggest thing that just helped me so much during that time was having someone like Erica to talk to about everything. She has a background in medical school so it felt good to have someone I could trust and truly vent to about everything from my depression to finding a second kidney to just everyday stuff. I finally had someone at my side to help calm my turbulent thoughts and emotions about everything. She helped me realize it was all in God’s hands and that it was okay to not be okay some days and that my story, with all the crazy ups and downs at my young age could help others. To use my experiences as strength to draw from and inspire others in similar positions as myself. To teach others to not give up no matter how hard it gets and how tired you may be of dealing with all the medical bullshit. Not until then in my life had I looked at my situation like that. I never thought of all the things I had dealt with as a child as material to write about and potentially have these expierences be far reaching and maybe help another kidney parent out there like my own or even another person suffering from PUV like me or the dozens and dozens of other things that can cause kidney disease. Just the very thought of these words helping or inspiring another lit up in me and I said there it is, there’s my purpose. I had always joked about that even as a kid. I always would tell friends and family, I’m not sure why I’ve been kept alive through so much, but God has a purpose for me somewhere. And in those moments where I talked about writing a book or starting a blog it was light a bolt of lightning surged through my spine just thinking about it. It was like a light had lit up and I finally truly felt like I knew my purpose in life. I’m not trying to get off track here, I just want to iterate how much of a change in my life this was. All I needed were the right people in my life and the right tools to get started.

One of the best and most humbling things about Cody’s Warriors was just how many people joined! To this day I’m still in awe at the response I got. A ton of my friends shared the group with others and it got members from everywhere. I even had a few say they’d get tested for me which is another topic to point out. It’s hard being in the position of needed a kidney. How do you ask someone for something so personal? How do you begin to ask someone to make that sacrifice of losing work, risking the procedure in the hospital, having to go through countless tests and explain to their family about what they’re potentially going to go through. It’s tough. It’s not like other things where you can just ask anyone for that, it’s really just a situation where you have to put your story out there and see if you can find someone willing to step up and consider it. But at no point can anyone say they expect a transplant from anyone. It’s the ultimate gift, it’s another form of life your giving someone. So when I had friends or family talk about getting tested for me trust me when I say no words can describe the feelings it gave me. Thankful is the first word I’d use. Just thankful that there’s people out there who would be open to making such a huge sacrifice to help another. Anytime I’m down or discouraged, all I have to do is scroll down Cody’s Warriors and I’m instantly filled with love, hope and blessing. As things went on in 2015 I started feeling the side effects that come with kidney failure. I started getting very tired all the time. I just had no energy, I’d have to take a nap every single day. I couldn’t even get through a whole day awake. I also started experiencing morning sickness. Literally every single morning the second I woke up I’d have to run to the bathroom to vomit. It was terrible. And as a side effect of that I started losing tons of weight and was losing color. It was hard to stay positive through it all, but I knew I wasn’t alone and had my friends and family by my side. I had to survive this so I could tell my story.

By the end of May that year I was going to see my Nephrologist every 2 weeks to get Epogen shots. Those were to get my blood count up and they’d generally work a couple days and then wear off. Meanwhile my creatnine was jumping higher and higher. I was headed from 1.5 for awhile to 1.8 and then past 2.0. That’s when it’s officially declared chronic kidney disease. The doctors said I basically had a few months and through the summer to find a donor and if I couldn’t find one I’d have to be starting dialysis in the Fall. So at this point I could actually refer family and friends to go get tested at the hospital where the transplant would be performed which was the San Antonio Methodist Transplant hospital. We needed to get the message of me finding a donor fast so Erica and I came up with a hashtag to share the Cody’s Warriors page and hopefully start trending among the kidney community. We used #2K2C which stood for 2nd kidney, 2nd chance. A good few friends got tested for me but they weren’t viable matches. Many things can cause that from blood typing to antibodies not matching up. It was a reminder that it wasn’t just anybody that could donate, there were tons of factors that made someone a viable donor and they’re pretty strict.

One day at the end of May I was going in for routine labs to check everything and I got a call that my Uncle Tim got tested for me and was a match. I knew there were still tests to be done but for the first time I had someone get past the first rounds of testing. I cried the whole way home that day, just emotional that my family would do that for me and I might have a life saving donor. As the next few weeks went on so did the testing and Tim did great though all of it till near the end. He ended up not being approved simply because he drank alcohol which nearly everyone I know including myself do. So that made things even tougher realizing how strict the process was. It was devastating news to hear but I knew we just had to keep pushing forward. My cousin Meghan got tested next and all of her tests looked great until they discovered a small cyst on her kidney so that eliminated her from being a donor. My cousin Dalton was one of the first but he was too young. But regardless I was just overwhelmed with knowing I had this many people step up to save me. By this time it was early July and I was running out of time. I saw the nephrologist and the numbers just kept getting worse to the point that I was getting scheduled for dialysis class and surgery to put a fistula in my arm. For those who don’t know dialysis is a very draining process and basically is a machine that does the work of a kidney when you don’t have one. I wasn’t looking forward to even thinking about going through this and the lifestyle that would follow. I was leaning towards Peritoneal Dialysis or PD which would allow me more freedom but I’d have a tube coming out of my side at all times and you have to worry more about infection. But when faced with no other options you’d be surprised how strong you can be and accepting that whatever will happen is in God’s hands. I told myself whatever happens is just another brick in the wall and I’ll face it like everything else. By late July I was out of donors and time, I was going to have start dialysis sometime in September after having my fistula or PD surgery in August. Then something amazing happened, I had 1 more person who was about to start getting tested to be a donor.

My aunt Dayle decided to get tested to be a donor for me. I was again humbled but was mentally preparing myself for dialysis. I knew deep down that a donor wasn’t a guarantee, especially after seeing so many be tested for me only to be turned down. But a small part of hope lived on that a miracle could happen at the last minute. The testing was going well and I was gearing up for something big either way. By the end of that month I’d either have a donor or I’d have dialysis surgery, both huge and life changing. They pushed my surgery a week to see how the results of my aunts testing would turn out. It was August 31st 2015, it was all down to the transplant council making a yes or no decision on Dayle being able to donate. I was so nervous that day I couldn’t think straight so I went over to Erica’s house to get my mind off everything. It was the end of the day and I hadn’t heard anything and was getting discouraged. I had figured they said no and was leaving and again, almost as if God was watching and waiting for the right moment. As I stood in the garage leaving I got a call. I sat down and it was Dayle. All I heard was “are you ready and set for a transplant?” I broke down then and there and again words don’t describe that feeling. I was so awestruck, happy, relieved, excited and nervous at the same time. I’m glad I was where I was and not driving when I heard the news because I just needed to hold onto someone after going through all the emotions that summer and having a comforting end to all those ups and downs was just so much. It’s a moment I’ll remember the rest of my life.

So the next step was getting geared up for the Transplant. It’s another crazy thing to consider too that I was a week from dialysis surgery and then I was sitting there with a donor. Since my kidney levels were so high they scheduled me as soon as possible for the procedure. September 16th 2015 was the set day and the day I got that form in the mail it felt so real. Reality had truly set in that this was happening. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely nervous, but I genuinely felt more excited and relieved than anything. By the end of the week we had the hotel booked for family and friends and were set. 2 days before the surgery we headed to San Antonio. I had so much support every step of the way. My parents were there, my grandparents, Erica, cousins, aunts and uncles and family friends. I was surrounded by care love going into this surgery. I had a final big dinner that night with all my closest family and the next day was pre op tests and tests and more tests. That last night before the surgery was different than any other night before surgery I’ve ever had. I’d normally be very nervous and scared and restless but not that night. I was surrounded by those closest to me and felt strangely calm and at peace, like whatever happened would happen and I was just glad to be where I was surrounded by those that mattered most. I felt ready if that makes sense. Like I knew what I was going to have to go through but instead of fear I was ready to get this done. I felt safe and in good hands that night and can vividly remember those feelings too. The next day I woke up, nervous but again ready.

We arrived at the hospital got checked all in and got prepped for surgery. I can remember walking to the prep area and getting dressed. I nervously laid in my bed and waited. It’s the waiting that gets you. You start thinking about everything. Thinking about the procedure and what all is about to happen. Thankfully they give you time to meet with family or friends before you go back there. I remember talking to Erica about finally being where I was at that moment and how far everything had come since then. She always knew how to keep me calm in these situations. I can remember talking to my grandparents who raised me when I started getting nervous. I can still hear my grandma telling me not to be scared, that I was her boy and could always get through anything like always. I know my parents held everything together well but I could read the worry on their faces too. It was a major procedure and a lot could go wrong. But I think all in all everyone in that room was just happy that we were where we were and that this was happening. My family being emotional is what got me so emotional before surgery but for the first time in my life I was going into surgery more confident that ever I was going to be okay. Because I knew I had God on my side and I had family and friends literally praying for me in the halls and in the waiting room. I just can’t speak enough on how important that is when you’re going through something massive like this, good family and prayer are all you need. They took Dayle back first and 20 mins later they got me. I remember having 1 last interaction with everyone as I got taken down to the operating room. I hugged everyone and then as Erica puts it, gave everyone a thumbs up on my way to surgery like a boss.

The surgery was a huge success and everything went great! The next thing I remember is a bit fuzzy, but I do remember coming out of it and feeling really warm. My biggest thing was I needed something to drink after having that breathing tube down your throat for hours. I just remember coming in and out of it and asking for ice whenever I could. I can remember the next day much better, I had all my family and friends by my side and aside from being really sore I already felt completely different. I had color again, I had an appetite. I didn’t feel sick in any way it was incredible. You find out quick just how much that one organ does for you. Dayle was doing great too, after 2 days she went home. I never once thought as a child that I’d have to have a second transplant at 26 but I realized I was blessed to have my mothers kidney for over 25 years with little to no problems. By that afternoon they were wanting me to start walking and slowly build myself back up. Here’s one thing about me, I’m always ready to get back to normal no matter what it takes. I got up to walk every time the nurses asked me cause I knew the sooner I’d prove my strength, the sooner I could leave. By the 4th day I was ready to go home, they took the port out of my chest and checked me over and said I looked great to go. The only thing I had left was a bladder stent and that would have to be removed a month later, which for me personally that was the most painful part of the entire process. I just had to get labs one last time and if they were good I’d be clear to go home and they were great.

Once I got home the long recovery started and I began walking every day to build my strength. I had to get labs weekly at first, then every 2 weeks, then a month. I had so much more energy it was just incredible. I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and focus on making myself better. By a month after the transplant my scar had fully healed, I was getting around better, I had more endurance even. I looked back on the whole finding a kidney process back then and was just amazed and how everything went and how everything played out. I look back now and I’m still blown away by the amount of love and support I got during that time. Which is just one of many reasons I’m trying to give back. Whether it’s awareness through this blog or an interview or being a public speaker of some sort. With help I realized just how important my story might actually be and until I breathe my final breath I will always fight for Kidney Disease awareness. It’s something that affects so many and in my opinion isn’t discussed enough. So if my story at any point gives you motivation or inspiration I ask that you please pass it on. You gain so much more in life by helping others. If I can do it so can you. Most would think this is where my story would end with me getting a kidney and things looking great from here, but there was more on the horizon just getting ready to test me. As Eminem said, Everything could have been so perfect, but life ain’t a fairytale.